Of Sweet Turmoil and Lovely Diplomacy
by DreamyLoner
Summary: America is getting a diplomatic visit from China. The rendezvous is supposed to determine whether or not Alfred can receive more financial "donations" from Yao. However, what awaits him at the airport is instead a grumpy little China doll. With Chun Yan suddenly substituting Yao for the visit, how will Alfred cope with the unexpected arrangement? AmeChu. America x Fem!China.


Alfred slouched languidly against the wall, glimpsing his watch once or twice with a disgruntled pout. He tore open another packet of chocolate crunch and started munching on it after having practically stuffed his stomach with three cheese burgers. Right, patience isn't really his vocabulary. He had been counting how long he had arrived, like, fifteen minutes or so. Well, anything that required him to stay still at a particular spot for more than five minutes was sufficient to exhaust his attention span. The blond could get extremely restless and croaky when nothing much in the surrounding piqued his interest.

He gazed up at the screen again and checked the flight schedule. He couldn't have mistaken the time, could he? He had double-checked specifically yesterday just to ensure that nothing would possibly go wrong for this significant meeting (Yes, he had screwed up a couple of times before or more but no, he would never concede it was his fault). His boss had been nagging him incessantly about this rendezvous which, if ending up successful, would probably assist them a lot.

Alfred wasn't the kind to show that he was in trouble; in grave financial trouble to be more precise. He is the HERO after all. And a hero doesn't need anyone's help! But oh well, let's get down to reality. He was penniless; almost. His treasury was seriously deficit after all the unnecessary expenditure dedicated to pointless wars with the Middle East countries. And his economy was declining. The stock market was no longer a pleasant sight these days.

He watched people cram through the gate with baggy luggage. The plane had apparently landed but it took quite a series of procedures for immigrants to check out. His eyes roamed over the crowd immediately, searching desperately for a particular Asian. He had already braced himself for hearing China rant endlessly about how bothersome the journey was and how the flight food didn't live up to his expectations or how the plane America had booked wasn't deluxe and comfortable enough or just how jet-lagged he was.

Yao isn't a bad person, indeed, but can be quite relentless and conceited sometimes. People actually compare Alfred to him a lot, stating how they actually possess similar traits of bossing people around, taking pride in deeds and being the ultimate superpower. In his opinion though, Yao is a pretty easy-going person if one knows him well. He is prone to flattery, succulent cuisine and any talks that concern potential trades or business. Even though the ancient nation could be quite grumpy and demanding at times, he is nothing near as aggressive and malicious as that damn Russian.

The crowd of people soon disappeared, leaving the gate almost empty again. Alfred was starting to get anxious. He checked the clock again. Sure, it read 13:30. Yao should be appearing in any second! He might be old but he was nowhere near clumsy and slow. He should be able to handle everything.

Alfred was about to take out his cell phone and tried ringing his "friend" up when an Asian girl with an awfully familiar appearance strode out of the gate. Those high heels failed to mask her petite, and obviously much smaller body compared to the rest of the local citizens. Her hair was pitch-black, sleek and neatly tied into two side buns, both clipped by two conspicuous peony accessories. One could tell she was slightly struggling with her bulky luggage as she seemed to stumble a few times dragging it.

"Aiyah!" She sighed in frustration, glaring at her burdensome baggage indignantly.

"Woah, hey gal, let me help you." Alfred dashed towards the lady with a goofy grin and offered her his hand (lucky Arthur had taught him some basic skills of being a peripheral gentleman).

"America?" The girl spun around and frowned. Alfred got a better close-up view of her this time. He forgot when they last met but it sure as hell had been ages since they came face-to-face this close. In his memory, she had always been quite gorgeous and dazzling, but pitifully small and delicate. She was always behind Yao's back, sometimes tagging along with him in rare meetings.

Now in case you wonder, this girl is Wang Chun Yan, basically the female version of Wang Yao. All nations have representatives for both genders. While the male personification reflects the nation's landmass, population and external power, the female counterpart manifests the nation's cultures, customs and integrity.

Alfred had heard that Chun Yan was a very conservative, strong-willed woman who appeared cheerful most of the times but cranky when it came to drastic changes. She loathed revolutions and was one of the few to reject forcibly the invasion of Western values in the 18th century. Her twin brother, however, had been convincing her to embrace a more open mind to things and gradually accept foreign cultures that could benefit their economy.

"Oh hi, China. What's up?" Alfred chuckled nervously. He didn't really expect to meet Chun Yan instead of Yao. In fact, he was SUPPOSED to meet Yao. Why would they send her instead?

"Well, can't you see?" Chun Yan rolled her eyes. "I can't get this damn suitcase move smoothly for once!"

Alfred looked over the baggage and concluded that it was clearly overweight. He gripped the handle and pulled. Well, with his incredible strength, he somehow managed to break the wheels.

"Oh no! You broke my suitcase!" Chun Yan yelled.

 ** _Shit._** Was the only word that crossed Alfred's mind.

 ** _Way to go, America._**

It was hard enough to be a satisfactory host. To him, the Chinese were always unexceptionally nit-picky. It was even harder to serve a girl as annoying and loud as him.

"Easy there, girl. We'll fix this when we get back to my place, okay?"

Chun Yan shot him a disapproving glance and folded her arms in exasperation.

 ** _Great. What kind of shit did Yao get me into this time?_**

Alfred mentally cussed and lifted the entire luggage with his bare arms.

"You have to pay for this, America! I SWEAR!" Chun Yan snorted and followed Alfred begrudgingly.

"Come on, it's not a big deal. Your suitcase is probably made in China. That's why it got busted. Anyway, we've got a lot here so you can just randomly grab one."

"What did you just say?"

"Like I'm saying, are you hungry or anything? Do you need some snack?"

"Not chocolate crunch, thanks." The girl grimaced. "You still have pieces around your mouth, idiot."

"Oh crap."

 **THUD!**

Alfred dropped the luggage to wipe his mouth.

"ALFRED! MY LUGGAGE!" The Asian shrieked as the suitcase snapped open. Clothes and accessories immediately sprayed across the floor messily.

"Oops, sorry!" Alfred shrugged it off with a guilty laugh and started picking everything up. The commotion had attracted a few bystanders to snicker at them but the most embarrassing scene was when the blond accidentally grabbed onto one of Chun Yan's undergarments.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, ALFRED JONES!" Chun Yan bawled and shoved the American out of her way. She swiftly snatched the red bra from his hands and stuffed it into her suitcase.

"Nice color." Alfred blinked jokingly.

"Ouch!" He whined as he felt a sharp pinch on his arm.

"One more word and you're drop-dead, Alfred." Chun Yan warned and stood up abruptly only to trip over a stuffed panda that got flung out of the suitcase. The girl tumbled, spraining her ankle in the process.

"Aiyah!"

Fortunately, the blond caught her just in time. Still, the heel broke.

"Wow, your shoes are made in China too?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Shouldn't have worn high heels if you can't handle them properly." Alfred beamed. "Can you even walk now? Guess I'll have to get you a trolley?"

"Don't you dare."

Alfred laughed, enjoying every bit of the teasing.

 ** _Serves her right, haha._**

And it was time to show off.

"Wait, what the heck do you think you're doing!" Chun Yan bellowed as the blond scooped her up, slung her over his shoulder briskly and picked up her suitcase.

"Put me down, idiot!"

"No worries. We're almost there."

"Put me down!" Chun Yan continued to protest but Alfred ignored her. It wasted his time to even initiate an argument with this pampered oriental "princess". They reached his car in no time, since he had parked it right outside the exit. He opened the door and tossed her in, slamming the door just in time to shut her mouth. He threw her suitcase into the backseat roughly.

"Don't just fling my stuff like that! I've got fragile things in there aru!" Chun Yan snapped. Alfred ignored that as well and hopped into the driving seat.

"Okay, ready to go?"

Not waiting for a reply, he started the engine and drove off in a flash.

"I haven't even put on my seatbelt!" Chun Yan grumbled.

"Nobody ain't got time for that, lol."

"You're horrible, America."

Ignoring the remark, Alfred asked. "So, anything you wish to buy? We can drop by the supermarket."

"I thought you've prepared everything for my visit."

"Oh right. I've got everything at home! We'll start off with some lunch first."

"Great. The food they served on the plane is obnoxious." Chun Yan rested against the seat with a scowl. "Yucky! I can't believe they deem it eatable!"

"Yeah." Alfred echoed absent-mindedly.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Chun Yan asked, fixing her slightly tousled bangs.

"Plan?"

"Don't tell me you haven't planned anything for my visit."

"Actually, I didn't expect to meet **_you_**." Alfred confessed. "I thought it would be Yao. We talked about the meeting a few times on the phone."

"His schedule is fully occupied recently so he can't make it this time. I will substitute him for the time being." Chun Yan explained.

"Oh…" Alfred frowned, already able to infer what type "business" Yao was occupied with. He was probably spending time with Russia again.

"You sound fairly disappointed, America. I hope you're not cursing at me in your mind 'cause I think I can hear you."

"What? No! What gives you that idea? I'm surprised, that's all!" Alfred yelped. "It's just that we haven't seen each other for a long, long time. Hope you won't feel awkward about your stay here. Just make yourself at home, okay?"

"Right, how's it going lately, Alfred?"

Alfred cocked his brows, somewhat stunned that Chun Yan would bother to inquire about his well-being. Perhaps this woman was not as inconsiderate and spoil-rotten as she appeared.

"Um…pretty well, I guess?" Alfred smiled vaguely and gazed ahead. Just then, a thought flashed across his mind. He tensed up in panic.

Oh no, he totally hadn't seen it coming! He had thought it would be Yao who visited so he had invited (read: begged) Arthur to come and make some decent tea that might possibly appeal to the Chinese. He didn't expect it would be Chun Yan! From what he could crudely remember, this woman couldn't tolerate Arthur. In fact, they were sworn enemies after their conflict almost a century ago.

"Hey, how about we drop by a Chinese restaurant to have lunch first?" Alfred asked nervously, trying to buy some time to call back home and dismiss Arthur. "We've got pretty good-"

"No." Was the firm answer. "Straight to your place, please. I'm exhausted. If possible, let me take a nap first before we get down to our business talk."

 ** _Shit. Shit. Shit._**

"But you know, I still think we should like-"

"I said 'NO'! For my record, you've never brought Yao to any decent Chinese restaurants every time he came here! I don't want to try any awful dishes you create with my culture. It's infuriating."

 ** _Damn it. She's even more explicit than Yao._**

"Fine." Alfred grunted and focused on the road ahead.

"Sorry, I didn't really mean to lash out at you but I'm really tired. I get very irritable when I don't have my beauty sleep. So, just take me to your place. No need for anything else. I've brought everything I need for the next few days."

"No problems. Just tell me if you need anything."

"Thank you."

The ride was tedious and silent. They didn't chat much afterwards. Although Alfred had to admit he was slightly peeved by her boldness, he had to agree with her at some point. It seemed that he had disappointed Yao too many times during his previous visits. He had specifically pondered hard while planning for his stay this time in order to accentuate his sincerity and of course awesomeness as a host. But well…things just loved to go astray for him.

By the time they arrived at his mansion, Chun Yan had dozed off. Alfred wondered if he ought to wake her up. She seemed to be the kind to go fanatic readily if disturbed.

 ** _Geez. This is even more challenging than dealing with Yao._**

"Ahem." He coughed.

Those copper eyes snapped open and gazed through him. He leapt back a bit, almost imagining himself to be smacked.

"We've arrived already?" Luckily, the girl only straightened up her back and scanned around the surrounding curiously.

"Yeah."

"Oh, okay." Chun Yan nodded and was about to open the door when Alfred interrupted her.

"Wait, I'll get that for ya." Alfred offered and hopped out of his car. He darted to the other side and opened the door for his guest.

"I'm not flattered, just so you know. I'm not as simple-minded as Yao either." Chun Yan commented and stepped out gracefully.

"Heheh. Let's go in first, shall we?" Alfred held out his hand but was snubbed by the Asian.

Chun Yan strutted past the American and headed directly towards the door. As if her arrival had been foreseen, the door opened automatically to reveal a butler and a couple of maids greeting eagerly at her.

What captured her attention though was the carpet below that read "光臨歡迎". The handwritings were awful imitations of Chinese characters, not to mention those words were reversed in order.

"What is this?"

"You can't read it?" Alfred gasped.

"No, this looks like graffiti. Are you kidding me?"

"What? Hell no! We genuinely welcome you here!"

"This is traditional Chinese writing. And you've got the word order wrong too! But anyway, good try, America." Chun Yan rolled her eyes and crossed over the carpet with little ado, leaving the blond severely defeated behind. She took off her wrecked shoes and stepped into one of the slippers they had prepared for her.

"Now, where should I go?"

"This way, Miss." A maid bowed courteously and directed her into the dining room. What awaited her there though was pretty unsightly. She almost puked at the horrendous odor.

"What's the matter?" Alfred caught up with her, almost bewildered when he saw the hideous scene. The table was flooded with plates of burned food threatening to poison them. The only thing that looked normal was the tea.

"What the hell is this?" Alfred cried, turning to one of the maids. The maid only shrugged and pointed to the British man sitting at one end of the table, sipping his favourite Earl Grey tea.

"Arthur!"

"Hello, Alfred. I've cooked some-" Arthur paused as soon as he spotted the scowling lady accompanying the American. He stood up instantly, dropping his tea cup which soon spilled the tea all over the table cloth.

"What are you doing here?" Both Arthur and Chun Yan screeched at the same time, with menace, of course.

"Alfred, explain this. I thought Yao was coming."

"Alfred, why is the opium bastard here? Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Woah, calm down, dudes! Let me-"

"And with this disgusting food you've made, are you trying to poison us all?"

"WHAT? YOU BLOODY WANKER, THESE STUFFS AREN'T MADE FOR YOU!" Arthur howled. "And I FORBID you to call it disgusting!"

"Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting!" Chun Yan shrieked.

The British stomped over and clutched her wrist. "I DEMAND you to apologise at this instant!"

"OR WHAT?"

"You-"

"Guys, stop yelling at my house! If you're going to bicker, do it somewhere else!" Alfred squealed, pulling the two apart. "Arthur, I only asked you to prepare tea. I didn't ask you to cook- hey hold on a second, can you smell something burning?"

Just then, the kitchen exploded with an ear-splitting rumble. The three nations stared hollowly as bits and pieces flew out and scattered everywhere.

"I think I've forgotten about the scones." Arthur said calmly, rather **_over calmly_**.

Chun Yan burst into laughter. "There goes your shitty kitchen, America! The result of inviting the worst chef in the world to your house!"

"Hey, are you implying something?" Arthur gritted his teeth.

"Oh, aren't you smart enough to decode that, Mr. Gentleman?" Chun Yan mocked.

"You ungrateful bitch!" Arthur hollered, refraining from slapping the woman right across the face though he pretty much wanted to do it. (Be a gentleman, Arthur! Get a grip!) "I shouldn't have returned Hong Kong to you in the first place! If it wasn't for Yao, I wouldn't have agreed to hand over the custody, damn you!"

"HONG KONG IS MINE! You have no right whatsoever to claim sovereignty over even a strand of his hair, you bastard! Go fuck yourself!"

"HE IS MY SON TOO! Just so you know, he's got my blood and brows! He looks nothing like you! I'm sure everyone thinks so!"

"What? How dare you-"

"Guys! SHUT UP OKAY?" Alfred shouted. "I'm going deaf! My kitchen's just got busted!"

"Well, you never use it anyway." Arthur remarked sarcastically. "And it's probably made in China."

"But you just blew off my kitchen, Artie!"

"May I remind you, you're the one asking for my favor, America."

"I asked you to make tea not FOOD!"

"And I did make tea."

"Don't even expect me to drink that kind of shit." Chun Yan grimaced. "Anything made by him is sure to suck like hell."

"Say it again, bitch!" Arthur yapped.

"And what're you going to do?"

"Geez, shut the fuck up! Aren't you two, like, divorced for decades already?" Alfred growled. "For once, stop arguing every time you bump into each other!"

"You're one to say!" Both of them retorted.

"Okay, fine, my bad. Now if you please, go home, Artie. Chun Yan is my guest. She's here to replace Yao because he's busy. I'm sorry to have troubled you."

The two nations seemed to calm down a bit, both thunderstruck by the fact that Alfred knew how to apologize.

"I'll make it up to you later, bud." Alfred patted Arthur on the back and winked, gesturing for him to leave the house.

Reluctantly, Arthur complied, not before looking daggers at his ex-wife.

"I hope you trample on some poop." Chun Yan taunted.

"I swear you won't get away next time, lady!" Arthur threatened. "Curse you."

"Let's just hope you won't mess up your next magic tricks and accidentally turn yourself into a rat."

"I'll turn you into a cockroach! Just you watch!"

"Artie! Get out of my house!" Alfred snarled.

"And I'll turn you into-"

Alfred slammed the door on Arthur's face and sighed.

"Well, I'm very discontented with your choice of company, Mr. America." Chun Yan stated, crossing her arms solemnly. "How could you let me confront my ex-partner? Did you do this on purpose? To embarrass me?"

"What? No!" Alfred protested. "Like I said, I only asked him to make some tea. You know Yao likes tea. Well, you like tea too, don't you? I don't know how to make proper tea so yea…I thought it would be Yao visiting. He gets along with Arthur just fine. Well, **_just_**. I didn't know it would be you, okay? No offense taken, please."

"Okay." Chun Yan muttered. "And the food? I suppose you aren't going to serve me the junk products of that bastard's cooking experiment?"

"No! Absolutely not!" Alfred cried and quickly ordered some of his maids to clear the mess in the dining room. "Let's order pizza, okay?"

"Ugh, guess it's still better than nothing." Chun Yan croaked and settled herself at the table.

Alfred spared no time to order as many take-away as he could. Pizza. Fries. Burgers. Salad. Noodles. Fried Rice. Whatever. As the two waited for their meal, they sat opposite each other in serenity, with Alfred trying to figure out how to amend things he had screwed up so far. Curiosity got better of him though. He knew he was in no place to ask about Chun Yan's private life but well, he was always presumptuous anyway. She should have gotten accustomed to his impulsiveness.

"You seem to hate Artie a lot, haha." He tried to bring up the topic as casually as possible, though Chun Yan was sensitive enough to notice his intention.

"What, poking your nose into someone else's business again?"

"Huh? Haha, I'm just curious!"

"Curiosity kills, America." Chun Yan mumbled, squinting at the blond suspiciously.

"I won't invite him again while you're here. Don't worry, haha!" Alfred averted his gaze.

Why was he fidgeting so much? Damn! She might be older and more experienced but that didn't mean she was any more authoritative! He is the hero, man!

"Well, since you asked, and since it's been quite a long time, I guess it doesn't hurt to tell you." Chun Yan shrugged. "He is OK as a nation but HORRIBLE as a man. He's by far the most irresponsible, and atrocious man I've ever met. I couldn't even remember why I fell in love with him once. But well, that was something that happened a century ago. You were probably still a teen. Wait, you're still a teen, right? I mean you're so young and immature! I should've just called you young boy."

"Hey! I might be just around three hundred years old but don't think any less of me! I'm old enough to be the hero of the world!"

"Yeah, I'm really envious, America." Chun Yan murmured and smiled down at her hands.

"Huh?"

"You're young and energetic, very ambitious too. Which I think is a good thing. At least you never hesitate to strive for excellence. I appreciate that part of yours. Yao…well…my other half used to be quite laid-back. That's why he got picked on a lot before. It's only recently that he's started pouring his entire mind to accomplishing something great. I always think your spirit is what attracts everyone around you. No wonder he doted on you a lot."

"Who?"

"Arthur." Chun Yan hummed. Her smile faded. "When we first got together, he always mentioned you and Amelia; how you two were his pride and treasure. He wouldn't stop bragging about you. I even got pretty jealous to be honest. But well, that's in the past. At least, we know it didn't work between us. It was a tragedy, really. And Hong Kong was just an accident. But he's also the reason that keeps us going against each other. I won't let him have Hong Kong back. He's spent enough time with him already."

"That sucks, man. I always think he should treat you better."

"I don't assume you would like to treat your ex that well either, eh?" Chun Yan quipped, immediately propelling the blond to think of his last girlfriend which miserably was actually Anya Braginski.

They didn't make it through the cold war.

"Seems like the food's here, yo!" Alfred exclaimed as the door bell rang.

The servants brought in the food he had ordered, laying everything carefully on the table.

"Well, eat as much as you like! If it's still not enough, we can get some more!" Alfred whooped, already grabbing a chicken leg and a hamburger.

"Um…okay?" Chun Yan frowned at all the junk food before her, not really wishing to risk her health but her stomach was growling. Tentatively, she chose the most healthy-looking ones- a bowl of fruit salad and some vegetable soup.

"Thanks, Alfred." Chun Yan nodded.

"No problems! You're the guest!"

"I mean, thanks for listening." The Asian clarified.

"Um…yeah. Sure." Alfred tittered, tearing a slice of pizza before gobbling it up in one go.

After the meal, Alfred attempted to bring up the main topic of their discussion but to no avail. Chun Yan stood up from the table and yawned.

"Wait, you haven't eaten much. Are you sure it's enough?"

"Last time I visited Australia, they kept serving me fish and chips and I gained ten pounds after that."

"Really? BUT YOU LOOK THIN! I mean, slender!"

"I'm tired. I'll take a nap first, if you'd excuse me."

"Um…okay…I'll lead you to your room!" Alfred stood up and ushered the Asian out of the dining room, leading her upstairs.

"By the way, where's my broken suitcase?"

"I've got my maids fixing it. No worries, Yan! Now let me show you your room."

The blond had his servants re-decorate the guest room deliberately to resonate with Yao's liking. He just hoped Chun Yan would love the same thing.

"Oh my God! HELLO KITTY!" The girl screeched in ecstasy as soon as her eyes were met with a striking pink. She scampered towards the bed and hugged the stuffed animals placed in advance near the window.

"I love teddy bears!" She grinned widely. "Oh, you've got me an Elsa Plushie too! How thoughtful! Now I can sleep in peace."

"Yea, I thought you would like them." Alfred heaved a sigh of relief. He was lucky that Chun Yan was in some way similar to Yao. Now he was picking up the skill to please her.

"Thanks! I love this room very much! It's very adorable and well-adorned! See ya later in the evening, Alfred!" Chun Yan beamed excitedly and chucked away her slippers. She crawled into the duvet, not caring to let her hair down. She took a stuffed panda in one hand and a Hello Kitty plushie in another before she lulled herself to sleep.

"Sweet dreams." Alfred muttered before closing the door lightly. Once he stepped back into the hallway, his phone rang.

"Yo, what's up, boss?"

From the other end came his boss' voice urgently checking if everything was alright.

"Good grief, she's just settled down. Cut me some slack, dude! I want to take a nap too!"

Alfred flinched as his boss yelled through the phone asking him to take the matter seriously since whether or not they got "donations" depended on his performance. If China was satisfied with this diplomatic bonding, they would probably get more "donations".

"Okay, dude! I'll try! By the way, it's Chun Yan who visited. Ya know, the female personification of China? Yao's currently away, probably hanging out with that commie jerk."

A sigh wafted out of the phone receiver, followed by a grunt.

"Fine, fine, I'll make sure she enjoys her time here. I've already planned out everything for the next few days! And yes, yes! I'll show her around in some special places, no worries! Can I go now?"

Alfred rolled his eyes and ended the call.

"Geez, what a pain." The blond murmured as he walked back to his room, probably going to take an afternoon siesta and think about what to do with dinner.

 **xXx**

Alfred was dreaming of dancing on some gigantic hamburgers and swimming in strawberry milkshake when his phone chimed again, vibrating ceaselessly on his nightstand. Grunting in annoyance, the blond stretched his arm to grab his iphone 6 plus.

"'ello?" He snorted groggily.

"DO NOT 'ELLO ME, AMERICA!"

Alfred practically rolled off his bed when he heard the thick-accented English. He pried open his eyes and sat up on the floor.

"China?"

"I've been calling you ten times and leaving over twenty messages on your phone! Why no answered my call aru? Aiyah! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?"

"Calm down, dude, I was sleeping."

And then he realized it was absolutely a terrible idea to act honest with Yao. The Chinese went haywire after hearing that he was slacking off.

"WHAT? So you just left Yan alone and went to sleep? What kind of a host are you!"

"Chill, dude, she's also sleeping."

"I don't care, Alfred! I'm here to remind you- SHE IS THE SPOTLIGHT OF THIS VISIT! If she's even a tiny little bit dissatisfied with your hospitality, you're not getting any money from us. You heard me? Oh and Chun Yan is very persnickety. Don't expect me to clear the mess for you if you piss her off."

"What the hell? Dude, I was going to ask why you didn't come yourself! It's sneaky of you to send a substitute!"

"SHUT UP, Alfred. It doesn't matter which one of us comes to visit! We represent the same country anyway! Don't even dare to use that tone with me. I told you I'm very busy!"

"Yeah, like throwing some commie party with a freak and you still have time to call me, haha."

"ALFRED!"

"Okay, okay, I'll take care of her. Stop yelling at me!"

"Good. I hope you don't screw it up. AGAIN. I've left all the decisions to her so you'd better make sure she enjoys her time there or like I said, you AREN'T GETTING anything. I'm not your Sugar Daddy by the way! Bye!"

The line went dead.

"Geez, that sucks, man." Alfred grimaced and tossed the phone onto his bed. "Oh shit, what time is it again?"

The blond gasped and checked the clock immediately.

 ** _20:05_**

"OH MY GOSH, I OVERSLEPT!"

Alfred bounced up in panic and dashed out of the room.

"Crap, crap, crap, I hope she's not awake yet."

Not bothering to knock first, Alfred booted open the door of the guest room and cried. "Hey CHINA! It's almost dinner time! Would you like-"

 **SMACK!**

The speech was cut off by a vase landing right on Alfred's face. If he had been an ordinary human, blood would be sputtering everywhere. Luckily, he is a nation and a nation has immense stamina, shock resistance and supernatural strength. He tumbled backwards and blocked the vase. It shattered into pieces.

"PERVERT!" Shrieked the woman who hurled the vase at him.

It was then Alfred realized he had just walked in while Chun Yan was changing clothes. Though she had her undergarments on, she still covered her exposed skin and crawled back into the bed.

"Oops, sorry! I didn't mean it. I was-"

"GET OUT OF HERE!" The Asian screeched, threatening to toss the lamp at him this time.

"Like I said, I-"

"GO!"

"Okay!" The blond effectively slid out of the room and shut the door just before the lamp smacked his face.

"I'M SORRY, CHUN YAN."

"SHUT UP, MORON! Hasn't anyone taught you to knock before you enter a room!"

A couple of seconds later, the door swung open again, revealing the now fully-dressed Asian.

"AMERICA!" The steamed girl growled, hands on her hips ready to explode.

"Oh hi there, lookin' good, old lady!" Alfred chuckled, though his mind had been wandering off to the image of Chun Yan in her totally alluring crimson bra.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, DO NOT CALL ME OLD AND-AMERICA! YOUR NOSE IS BLEEDING!" Chun Yan gasped, shaking the blond deliriously.

"Is it?" Alfred gulped and traced his hand to his nose. Streams of blood were oozing out.

"Oh no, we gotta stop the bleeding first!" The Asian said urgently. "Quick! Sit down and hold your nose. I'll be back in a minute."

Of course, he had not the mind to tell her that it was no big deal and that seeing her half naked was the real reason for his nosebleed.

Minutes later, Chun Yan returned with tissues and medical supplies, though Alfred's nose had probably stopped bleeding already.

"I'm sorry. It must've been the vase. Does it hurt?"

"A lot."

"Really?"

"No, just kidding."

The Asian pouted and punched his arm. "Thought so. You're like, what, invincible? I don't even think bullets can penetrate you."

"They do if you try hard enough." Alfred grinned.

"Okay, that's not funny. Aiyah, your blood stained my dress!"

"Sorry. Didn't mean to ruin it, haha."

"Never mind!" Chun Yan snorted and flopped down next to the blond. "I'm more worried about my dinner to be frank."

"Oh that! I was about to ask you for your opinion but then I got hit!"

"Don't remind me. Remember to knock next time."

"Yeah, yea, right, so, would you care for some steak and chips?"

"Ai…what should I expect?" The Asian rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Or what would you like then?"

"I think it's okay, as long as the restaurant is not too crappy. So, are we going out to dine or what?"

"My kitchen's busted, so yea, I'll drive." Alfred shrugged and led her out of the room.

They ended up dinning in some steak house. Chun Yan was quite fond of beef, to Alfred's relief. And the chips seemed to live up to her taste as well. Since she had pinpointed how she disliked the "Chinese cuisine" made in his place, he was inclined to bring her to some Western restaurants and cafes.

"You know, I actually love some of these Western dishes." She remarked. Unlike Yao, who insisted that Chinese cuisine was the best, she actually had a thing for exotic food.

"Glad ya like it." Although Alfred said so, he was more likely the one savoring the meal. He had been devouring a few dishes already. It was a miracle Chun Yan wasn't as irritated by his messy eating as Alice. He thought she would have been even more of a neat-freak than England.

"So, how much are you aiming for this time, Mr. Jones?" Her tone was sarcastic. Sure, Yao wasn't lying when he claimed that they were pretty much the same person. At least, Alfred could read the atmosphere this time. Chun Yan does **_love_** insinuation as much as Yao.

He stopped eating at once and stared at her. It was quite degrading really, to be "pleading" for help. His economy had been aggravating recently. Yao's, though, had been soaring high and booming every chance it got.

"Well?" Chun Yan widened her eyes and smirked. "Speechless now, are you, Mr. Big Mouth? Didn't your boss ask you to cater me and be an affable host? I'm speaking to you, young man. At least, say something to entertain me. Nope?"

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Oh? I thought it is quite urgent." Chun Yan sneered.

"Actually yes. But on second thought, I think it's better for me to discuss this with Yao."

"Why him?" Chun Yan interrogated. "Is it because he's easier to tackle than me? I know he's soft. He always agrees to help you out. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I don't want to lend you some assistance. I'm just a bit more critical and sensible than Yao. I want to know where my money will go and if it's down the drain. I'm curious though- how much chance is there that you will return the money to us? You do know how much debt you're in, right?"

"Yea." Alfred glanced down at his plate and twiddled his fork.

"Good, at least you've got some self-consciousness. I'm not a fool. And don't think I'm the lenient type either. I'm not like Sakura."

"There's nothing between us." Alfred clarified. "I didn't even ask her for money."

"So you're just asking Yao? Because he's easy to trick and persuade?"

"No! We're friends, right? He said so."

"Of course, we are." Chun Yan grinned slyly. "Very good 'friends' in business indeed."

"This I know. We're just trading partners anyway. If you think I'm imposing on you, I won't ask again. I'll handle my own economy." Alfred shrugged. "But since you've already come a long way here, I hope you can enjoy the rest of your trip. After all, I'm supposed to be a good host."

"Hey, can't you even discriminate between jokes and seriousness?" Chun Yan stifled a laugh, reveling in the blonde's apprehensive expression. "I was just teasing you."

"That's not cool, gal." Alfred pouted. "You've just hurt my feelings, ya know?"

"I'll see what I can do to help. Friends are supposed to help each other, right? Forget about the benefits and conspiracy. I know Yao sincerely treats you as a buddy, despite the contrastive political stances of our governments. If Yao has promised to help you, then I will have to do the same." Chun Yan nodded.

"Thanks. That…means a lot to me." The blond smiled, and he couldn't imagine how pathetic and hopeless he looked at that moment. He might be the hero everyone knows, but truth be told, the only people he can even officially regard as friends are England and Japan. He and Yao might be friends in private but as nations, they probably stand opposing to each other as keen competitors.

"After all, how can we let our biggest trading partner down?" Chun Yan beamed, taking a refined sip of the red wine.

For a split second, Alfred was caught by her beguiling face. The wine tainted her rosy lips, matching well with her ruby lipsticks. She had let her hair sashaying down, reaching over her thin waist. Her skin was of a fair color, the porcelain texture emitting an utterly captivating aura.

Why hadn't he noticed it before?

She is magnificent.

So is Yao.

"Alfred?"

"Yea?" Finally snapping out of his reverie, Alfred smiled.

"I think it's time to go?"

"Oh, you've finished your meal already?"

"About an hour ago, Mr." Chun Yan sighed.

"Oh yeah! Haha! Let's go then!"

And like a 'gentleman' he was compelled to be, he offered her his hand. This time, she took it with gratitude and stood up graciously.

"Your place is very spectacular, I must say." Chun Yan whooped, marveling at the breath-taking view below her. She would have dreamt of being taken out on a date in a helicopter. But this wasn't one of her fanciful thoughts nor was it a delusion. It was as real as could be.

"Yea, right? Totally awesome." Alfred winked. He took credits for the entire arrangement of course, though it was more like his boss' idea in the first place.

They were flying across the New York City in a high-class helicopter, admiring the glistening hustle and bustle down below.

"Your city looks so lively!" Chun Yan exclaimed again. "Just like you! Haha!"

"Lol, that's a great one."

"No, I mean it." She reiterated candidly and stared at him. "I like how it twinkles with so much energy. It's beautiful. Very beautiful indeed. Lucky I came this time, to think that Yao would be missing all this fun, haha."

"Yea, and you know what? You should tell him how awesome your trip is when you get back home. Let him sulk for a couple of weeks. Totally worth it!"

"I'll do it for sure." Chun Yan laughed.

The next day, Alfred decided to bring Chun Yan to somewhere she would probably squeal in exhilaration. And since she would only stay for several days, they had to make the best of it.

"I can't believe it! You actually brought me to DISNEYLAND!" She practically bounced around like a jubilant kid who had never been any more amazed by cartoon characters and fairytale castles.

"But- you don't have Hello Kitty here?"

"What? This is Disneyland, Chun Yan."

"Yea, still, if I were to open one of my own, I would definitely have all the adorable characters huddle up in the palace!"

"Yan! You can't do that! It's Disneyland!" Alfred protested. "Hello Kitty doesn't belong here."

"When I say it does, it does, okay?" Chun Yan glared at the blond, shushing him immediately.

"Whatever. I'm gonna buy some ice-cream. Want one?"

"Make it three."

"What?"

"I have a sweet tooth."

"Ah I see! Yao likes sweet things too! He's crazy about it. I think once he gobbled up five tiramisu cakes in a row!"

"I think it was the time he came back grumbling about his stomachache." Chun Yan giggled.

They got the desserts, of course. As much as he loathed admitting it, Alfred actually wasn't a big fan of thrilling rides. So, when Chun Yan dragged him to those rides, he had to keep up his appearance and pretend that he could make it. Minutes later, however, we could hear our precious hero screaming for life in the sky.

"Alfred, you okay?" Chun Yan asked when they got back to the ground.

"Yea…right…awesome."

"Are you sure? You look pale."

"Do I?" Alfred laughed. "Probably glucose deficit."

"Do you need another cone of ice-cream?"

"I think I'll go get some sandwiches instead."

Fortunately for him, the rest of the day was spent on taking photos with Disney characters, watching a couple of childish shows and lingering around shopping for souvenirs.

As the night closed in, they decided to go for a movie or two. To Alfred's dismay, Chun Yan adored HORROR MOVIES and she certainly wouldn't let the chance slip away when she spotted a few masterpieces.

"I love, love American movies! Those hero films are okay. But horror movies! OH MY GOD! Let's watch this together!"

Poor Alfred, he couldn't even muster the courage to confess that he was, in fact, very horrified by thrillers and ghost stories. Before he could even utter a single word, he was dragged into the cinema by Chun Yan. To make things worse, there wasn't much audience. They seemed to be the only ones present that night.

 ** _Shit. I think I'm gonna wet my pants._**

"Alfred? That's a hell lot of popcorn you've bought." Chun Yan exclaimed, grabbing a few snacks for herself.

"Yea…yea…" Dumfounded was the blond. He stared anxiously at the screen, stuffing as much popcorn as he could to muffle the screams he would soon produce. He just hoped his popcorn and big coke could last the night.

"Oh look! I have the same butcher's knife at home!" Chun Yan pointed at the screen elatedly. When she looked back at Alfred, however, he was crouching on the floor.

"Alfred?"

"What? I'm checking if there're any rats." Alfred chuckled, squatting down behind one of the chairs.

"I don't think there're any rats here. Oh gosh, you've got to see this! He's just chopped off her head! And the blood! Wow! It's sprinkling everywhere!"

 ** _Geez, what the hell is she made of?_**

 ** _Probably steel._**

"Alfred! There's something behind you!"

"AH!" The blond squealed and flailed his arms.

"Gotcha!" Chun Yan burst into laughter. She snatched his popcorn and guzzled down his coke.

"It's not awesome, okay?" Finally, the blond slumped back down in his seat, only to feel he had sat on something revolting.

"Oh no, Alfred! There's blood everywhere!" Chun Yan shrieked, pointing at Alfred's pants which were now stained in scarlet.

"Shit! It's really blood!" Alfred wailed and started scooting towards the exit. "Help me! OBAMAMA!"

As the American trotted out of the cinema, Chun Yan tittered. "Just kidding. It's actually ketchup."

The rest of the movie was a hellish torment for Alfred. It was mortifying to be seen running off like a scared chicken. Chun Yan could never have had enough of the teasing. Even as they were driving home, she kept reminding him of his lady-like whimper.

"You're wicked." Alfred pouted furiously. "Even more so than Arthur when he's practising his voodoo."

"Oh come on, I'm sure I make a better company than him?" Chun Yan laughed. "You should see this though." The Asian eagerly pulled out her cell phone and showed him the video she had recorded earlier, of him sitting on ketchup and freaking out.

"Oh man, delete it!" Alfred attempted to snatch the phone from her but she nimbly hid it inside her bag. "Nah. I'll use it as blackmail when necessary."

"You're awful." Alfred whined. "Even more so than Francis when he caught me flirting with some waitress."

"You flirt with girls? Seriously? I thought you were gay." Chun Yan gasped, feigning an astounded look. "Gay for Arthur."

"WHAT?" Alfred almost crashed his car into a speed bump. "NO! IMPOSSIBLE! WHAT GIVES YOU THAT IDEA?"

"I don't know. Some of Kiku's BL doujinshi, I guess."

"Oh no, don't tell me you're a fujoshi like Taiwan and Hungary!"

"There are a lot more members in this community than you think, young man." Chun Yan chortled. "For my record, Vietnam and Belarus are too. Oh and you know what? Belarus has been reading a lot of erotic fictions about you and Russia. I mean, you and Ivan, not Anya! Haha!"

"Shit. Don't even tell me the detail! It's horrible!" Alfred complained. "I'll have a word with Kiku and Sakura about this later! AND I WILL SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME- Arthur and I are nothing like you've suggested! He may have a thing for Amelia but definitely not me, okay? Oh wait, hold on a second, how could you speak of your ex-husband like that?"

"Like what?"

"That's not cool, Yan. You just think of your ex-partner as gay?"

"Isn't he? I've always thought he is. That's why it didn't work between us. I think he even likes Yao more than me." Chun Yan said bluntly.

"That's one hell of complicated relationships."

"Yea, definitely."

"I like chicks." Alfred piped up. " ** _Normally_**. I mean, under **_normal_** circumstances."

"So there might be some exceptional circumstances that-"

"Oh no! Don't you even start fantasizing about it! I'm straight! S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T. Straight like a ruler."

"But you can bend a ruler."

"No! What I'm trying to say is-"

"Well, you're just suppressing your inner-"

"I'm the hero, Yan! A hero should always be a man."

"That's gender stereotype."

"You're evil."

"Am I?"

"Yea. Evil. Like a witch. Now I know why you caught Arthur's eyes in the first place."

"Oh stop mentioning him. He's a bum. He used to look cool as a pirate. But now more like a hypocrite."

"True. True. That I can't agree more." Alfred laughed.

The third day and the fourth day were the memorable ones. He took her to various places of natural wonders. National parks. Zoos. Canyons. Falls. Islands. Farms. Caves. (Don't even question how the hell they got to visit so many places. They aren't humans, remember?)

And knowing she would love fireworks, he brought her to see some at night. They found a decent spot where the view opened itself for them. The feeling was peculiar. Even though he had to admit she was quite a pain in the neck, the time spent with her was extremely pleasant and blissful. Chun Yan is a lot more forthright and subtle than Yao. She is a complete opposite of Arthur, who always has trouble expressing his feelings and likes acting like a tsundere. It had been a while since Alfred last went out with any girls. He hadn't got time for dating anyway, with piles of work awaiting him every day in his office. What kept his spirits up was how cherubic and frivolous the Asian could be. True she could be feisty and hot-tempered at times, but when she got adequate beauty sleep like she had claimed, she usually remained jolly and amicable throughout the day.

"Look! That one has the shape of a blooming rose!" She exclaimed gleefully, tugging his sleeve like a hyperactive child. "Oh look, that looks like a baby! And this one has a fascinating look of a bun! OH MY GOD, it's Hello-Kitty-face firework! I've been begging Hong Kong to make one for me but he always says it's silly! Thank you, America! Thank you so much!"

The Asian sprang up merrily and leaned in to plant a chaste kiss on Alfred's cheek. "Even though I almost fell off the cliff near the waterfall this morning, these fireworks totally make my day!"

"I caught you, remember?" Alfred laughed.

" ** _Just_**." Chun Yan stuck out her tongue and continued to bask in the sparkling display of fireworks above them.

"Hey, Chun Yan?"

"Yea?" The Asian said without turning around, her eyes still fixed on the glittering sky.

When the blond didn't reply, however, she turned to face him. He ogled her. Those were the most mesmerizing orbs she had ever seen, in her opinion. While Arthur's eyes always looked as emerald as plain grass, this pair was as azure and deep as the ocean itself. They were enthralling, penetrating and hypnotizing. She was a bit stumped to be stared at intensely for almost a minute but what followed suit astounded her more.

He bent forward and kissed her, right on the lips.

She lifted her hands, ready to shove him away but he clutched her wrists promptly and deepened the kiss. She soon relaxed and indulged in the enchanting sensation of rare affection. It had been years, no, decades since she was last kissed by someone this passionately. It made her waver. It made her shudder. It made her feel ineluctably melancholy to remember that the last and only person who had ever done this to her was Arthur, someone whom she thought would spend his eternity with her but ended up abandoning her and taking their son away.

She felt momentarily depressed when that long-lost feeling of love re-surfaced her heart. She broke the kiss and blushed, fiddling with her hands sheepishly.

"That's…pretty enough, Alfred." She withdrew from the younger nation and smiled.

"You don't like it?" Alfred asked, his eyes shimmering. Oh how they reminded her of an innocent child's eyes! So earnest and piercing.

"No…that's not it. Just…why would you do that?" Chun Yan cackled.

"I dunno. It's cool, isn't it? I like you."

When she widened her eyes, he realized right away he had said the wrong thing. So quickly, as if to avoid tangling himself in trouble, he re-phrased his utterance. "I mean, I think you're a very good companion and I just-" He paused, mentally cursing at his own cowardice. Why couldn't he just blurt out his true feelings?

"It's okay. Don't speak. I get it. You make a very good company too, though your fast food seriously sucks." Chun Yan taunted.

"What? It sucks?" Alfred gasped, looking slightly despondent.

"But there's always something else to compensate for it, right?" She smirked and leaned in to seal their lips together once more.

On the last day of her stay, he decided to make some Chinese cuisine for her, despite having already envisioned how he would probably get reprimanded for messing up her home recipes. He figured at least he had to do something with his bare hands, to show his sincerity and endeavor. He studied the recipes overnight and dispatched all his servants to look for the required ingredients. As his kitchen was finally repaired, he spent the entire morning trying and blundering, burning and getting past what could be regarded as eatable.

"There's nothing a hero can't do!" He encouraged himself.

Chun Yan had decided to sleep in on the last day. After lunch, they would be going shopping in some malls and department stores. At night, she would catch the evening plane and fly back to China.

"What…is this?" The Asian asked skeptically as she examined the dreadful food. She had already packed her luggage, using the new enormous suitcase Alfred had bought her the other day. She thought since it was her final day in America, they were going to have the most delectable meal ever.

"Spring rolls, of course! Can't you recognize your own home cuisine?" Alfred chirped proudly as he introduced the dishes. "I couldn't get enough vegetables so I stuffed in some ham and beef instead. I ran out of shrimps in the process so again I made some meat dumplings. And that one, we didn't' have BBQ pork around so I got you a hamburger bun! I fried you some rice too! Oh and I also couldn't find a chicken so I roasted you a turkey! I figured you might also want to experience some new stuff so I made an exclusive sweet-and-chili sauce! Ta-da!"

Chun Yan blinked at the crudely cooked food for a prolonged moment. Sure, the spring rolls looked fine…except they were all snapped into halves…The dumplings looked eatable but the taste should be something else. The buns…they looked a bit more like hamburgers to be honest. And the turkey…it wasn't even Christmas yet!

"Sorry…I know I suck at making Chinese food." Alfred muttered, seeing no way to act arrogant and thick-skinned around her. "We can have something else at the mall. Let's throw these away."

"But you tried." Chun Yan said instantly, picking up a pair of chopsticks. "You've been working hard since this morning, right?" She smiled as she glanced at his bandaged fingers. "It will be absolutely cruel of me to not accept these marvelous gifts. I am touched. I don't think anyone has done this much during any of my diplomatic visits. Home-made food is always better than take-away. However it tastes, it's made with effort and heart. Thank you, Alfred."

She grinned again and munched on a dumpling. It didn't actually taste as bad as it appeared. In fact, she had to admit he was quite an innovative chef, if not the best in the world.

"Are you…sure you want to try these? Like, I ain't gonna be responsible for when you get a funny tummy."

"Don't worry! Plus, you're gonna eat with me, silly!" Chun Yan laughed and stuffed his mouth with a bun.

"Yea, right! If we could survive Arthur's scones, we would definitely make it out alive this time!" Alfred tittered.

"Cheers!" The Asian giggled and held up a glass of soya milk.

"Cheers!"

The afternoon passed swiftly, so swiftly Alfred wished he had the ability to reverse time. For some reason, he didn't want to bid Chun Yan farewell yet. He actually prayed for her to stay a bit longer even though it was impossible.

His boss rang him in the midst of their shopping. China had transferred a great sum of "donations" into their bank account. The value even exceeded their original estimation. His boss was extremely delighted. He kept praising him and saying how he had achieved another "good job".

"Well? I hope it's enough to help you for the time being." Chun Yan smiled. "Surely, we don't want to see our HERO of the world keep plunging down to the bottom."

"That's more than we expected…" Alfred said as he hung up. It struck him to remember that her presence only marked another diplomacy accomplished by two nations. For the past two days, he had been enjoying the time so much that he had forgotten completely about his initial purpose of inviting China over to stay. He felt something was slightly wrong and that it shouldn't have ended this way, so formal and absurd. If anything, their time spent together shouldn't have been merely diplomatic but something more genuine and unforgettable.

"Alfred?"

He had remained silent till they reached the airport. Near the gate, she was trying to snap him out of his train of thoughts.

"Alfred! I'm leaving now! You haven't spoken since this afternoon! Are you hungry?"

"Ah, yea, you're going already?"

"It's almost time to check in!" Chun Yan sighed. "Have you seriously been daydreaming for the last two hours we were together? How rude!"

"Wait, I'll be right back!"

She watched the blond scurry off clumsily and rolled her eyes.

"Probably another toilet break." She grunted and folded her arms.

When Alfred finally returned, it was about time she went through the gate.

"Okay, I'm going now, Alfred. I've thoroughly enjoyed my stay here, except that your food still sucks but well-"

"I'm coming with ya!" Alfred suddenly whooped, waving the air-ticket joyfully in front of the Asian.

"WHAT?"

"I've just gone off to buy a ticket. Lucky they've got spare seats! I'll be flying back with ya!"

"BUT…WHAT FOR?"

"Simple. 'Cause I think five days are too short. We should spend more time with each other, yea? I haven't been visiting China for a while. It'll be good to trouble Yao once in a while!"

"Who gives you the permission to visit China?"

"Me! And probably you too babe?" He winked confidently and draped his arm around her shoulder.

"Me?! Babe?! WHO ARE YOU CALLING BABE! HOW DARE YOU! ALFRED. F. JONES, YOU ARE NOT- ERMMMM"

Leaning a bit forward, he locked their lips together.

"Alfred!"

"Oh look, it's time to board! Let's go! Yay!"

And without bothering to bring his own baggage, he dragged the Asian on board.

"Yao's gonna kill you for sure!" Chun Yan cried as they sat miraculously next to each other on the plane.

"I don't care. Someone's got to save me, yea?"

"Definitely not me. You can bet on Russia though."

"Awwww man, you're killing the mood!"

"That's me for you, Mr. America."

"I think I'm starting to like you more, Ms. China. And your twisted sense of humor."

"Moron."

"Hurrah to the American hero!"

"SIT DOWN, ALFRED! EVERYONE'S LOOKING AT US!"

And so began their everlasting journey of sweet turmoil and lovely diplomacy.


End file.
